I made a lot of posts in May. And virtually none after that.
Look! I am still procrastinating!
Friday, December 11, 2009
BOXES
Right now, (well, obviously not right now considering I am typing up this post and all) I am attempting to write a stupid "treatise" on a stupid subject; boxes. NOW, that may sound simple, but it's actually the worst thing ever. And when I say ever, I don't really mean a half-assed actually-just-right-now ever, I mean EVAR. It's for my interdisciplinary class and the project is "the collection." All I wanted to do for this project was make a structure out of boxes and then display the coolest boxes inside of it! And then my classmates were all like, well, where do you draw the line at what a box is, and I started trying to draw that line, and it just got bigger and bigger and bigger until now it's huge. And so I told my teacher and she thinks that I'm actually interested in this aspect and maybe I am really abstractly but mostly I am just entirely frustrated, and she's all like, well, you should write a "treatise." What a horrible idea! And this essay has turned into the worst thing ever, I've been trying really hard to write it but every time I would start I would just give up after restarting it like five times, and now I've been working on it for three hours and I have 3/4 of a page single spaced. WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF WHY WHY WHY WHY
Here are the things I have been doing to procrastinate:
listening to some pretty sweet high-bpm club and rap music
learning about contemporary rappers
facebooking it up
writing this post
checking my email
smoking some cigarettes
playing with a cat
reading up on some wiki and reviews on this game that I have been procrasting with prior to today - Dragonage, origins (I accidentally read some spoilers, how sad is that?!)
Learning all about Grooveshark
watching WoW jokey videos on youtube
looking at random things that pop up when I google search "box"
The only reason I am using the internet to distract myself so much is because I don't even know what to write! I can't even research my subject; no one has cares enough about boxes or box history to write anything about it because it is such a boring subject! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Here are the things I have been doing to procrastinate:
listening to some pretty sweet high-bpm club and rap music
learning about contemporary rappers
facebooking it up
writing this post
checking my email
smoking some cigarettes
playing with a cat
reading up on some wiki and reviews on this game that I have been procrasting with prior to today - Dragonage, origins (I accidentally read some spoilers, how sad is that?!)
Learning all about Grooveshark
watching WoW jokey videos on youtube
looking at random things that pop up when I google search "box"
The only reason I am using the internet to distract myself so much is because I don't even know what to write! I can't even research my subject; no one has cares enough about boxes or box history to write anything about it because it is such a boring subject! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
..
I have developed a bad habit.
Just FYI.
I justify it by saying I know I have it, but I'm not sure that that actually counts for anything.
Just FYI.
I justify it by saying I know I have it, but I'm not sure that that actually counts for anything.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Commercials
On some commercials, there's a long pause between when the spokesperson stops talking and the end of the commercial, where they are usually just smiling in a very fake sort of way. I find this brief interlude very entertaining.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Ohio
I went to Ohio for a week. We drove up on the 6th, my brother's high school graduation was the 7th. On the 8th, I went to visit my mom's mom in the nursing home in London; she didn't know me. We spent the rest of our time from the 8th through the 10th in Columbus. We went to Cosi and the Columbus zoo, we had family photos taken, and my dad bought a $900 watch for $600 at the mall at Tuttle Crossing. On the 11th, my grandpa died. On the 12th we had a small viewing for just five of us, and he was cremated that evening. On the way home, my dad and I got into an argument and he kicked me out of the car, drove a bit, then drove back to pick me up. My grandma picked up the ashes before my cousin's college graduation on the 13th. We drove back to Florida on the 14th.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Bear Story
Bears probably have the most pointless existence ever.
Yes, they are very good at controlling the amount of fish in a stream, and they are very important for maintaining that particular biosphere. But on a personal level, their lives are sort of devoid of meaning. They only do two things: sleep and eat. The purely cause and effect relationship in their lives strips it of all purpose.
Bears hibernate every winter. They do this because in the winter there is no food and it is much easier to survive while you are unconscious at that time, provided you were fat enough to last the whole winter without starving to death.
When they wake up in the spring, they start eating again, getting as fat as possible in preparation for their long sleep, so that they may survive another winter and start eating all over again.
Now, we know what it's like to be asleep; you have absolutely no idea what is going on and even if you have a good dream and you really enjoyed sleeping eventually you have to get up and then you forget what was so great about that dream in the first place. So why would bears want to spend half their lives unconscious?
Some would wonder if maybe that's just what their life is. They eat because they have to in order to survive the winter, and then they sleep because if the don't, they'll starve during the cold months. But why would you want to continue to exist if you are only doing it to avoid your death?
Really, bears spend so much time sleeping because their lives actually happen in dreams. They only wake up in the summer so that they can go back to living come winter.
Yes, they are very good at controlling the amount of fish in a stream, and they are very important for maintaining that particular biosphere. But on a personal level, their lives are sort of devoid of meaning. They only do two things: sleep and eat. The purely cause and effect relationship in their lives strips it of all purpose.
Bears hibernate every winter. They do this because in the winter there is no food and it is much easier to survive while you are unconscious at that time, provided you were fat enough to last the whole winter without starving to death.
When they wake up in the spring, they start eating again, getting as fat as possible in preparation for their long sleep, so that they may survive another winter and start eating all over again.
Now, we know what it's like to be asleep; you have absolutely no idea what is going on and even if you have a good dream and you really enjoyed sleeping eventually you have to get up and then you forget what was so great about that dream in the first place. So why would bears want to spend half their lives unconscious?
Some would wonder if maybe that's just what their life is. They eat because they have to in order to survive the winter, and then they sleep because if the don't, they'll starve during the cold months. But why would you want to continue to exist if you are only doing it to avoid your death?
Really, bears spend so much time sleeping because their lives actually happen in dreams. They only wake up in the summer so that they can go back to living come winter.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Faith
Sometimes I feel like the only person in the world without any semblance of faith. It's lonely.
But really, I wouldn't have it any other way.
But really, I wouldn't have it any other way.
bloggers
I keep trying to wade through the "Next Blog" option to find some interesting lives to spy on, but I'm seriously held back by the fact that I only know English. Most things I've stumbled across are pretty lame, so far. There've only been a couple worth following. It's disappointing!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Casual Jesus
Apparently, a church in England has erected a 7 foot tall bronze sculpture of Jesus, clad in vigorously wind blown jeans and what is probably a Hawaiian shirt.
Buddy Christ, anyone? Never say that movies do not inspire.
Article
Buddy Christ, anyone? Never say that movies do not inspire.
Article
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Conglomeration of thoughts
It's really easy for me to forget how young I am. I'm so afraid that I'm going to fuck up my future that I convince myself that these years are the most important for me, ever, but I'm only 20.
I think the space program is really important. I think the faster we find another type of being to talk to, the better.
Cancer???
Our oldest description and surgical treatment of cancer was discovered in Egypt and dates back to approximately 1600 B.C. The Papyrus describes 8 cases of ulcers of the breast that were treated by cauterization, with a tool called "the fire drill." The writing says about the disease, "There is no treatment."[94]
Paintings shouldn't be on the internet. The computer screen is too small to understand their intricacies.
I think the space program is really important. I think the faster we find another type of being to talk to, the better.
Cancer???
Our oldest description and surgical treatment of cancer was discovered in Egypt and dates back to approximately 1600 B.C. The Papyrus describes 8 cases of ulcers of the breast that were treated by cauterization, with a tool called "the fire drill." The writing says about the disease, "There is no treatment."[94]
Paintings shouldn't be on the internet. The computer screen is too small to understand their intricacies.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
New boots
So. I just got a pair of cowboy boots for my birthday. I am very excited about them. They are plain back, with some typical cowboy boot embroidery happening on the side. Currently, I am wearing them with a pair of jeans. After I get off of work I plan to wear them with a pair of short shorts, which will probably encourage many people I know to bring up the subject of Daisy Duke and how I am not nearly as attractive as she is.
Now, dear reader and future self, I want you to remember these boots. Has anything interesting happened while wearing them? Did I wear them for only a month before realizing that I look slightly ridiculous in them? Did I lose them, break them or throw them away? Have they fallen apart? Are they sitting in the back of my closet even now, although I haven't even thought about actually wearing them in several years, at least not since last Halloween when being a "cowgirl" was a relatively easy costume idea to pull off in the short span of time since I found out that there was actually a party for me to go to, and god, I would have had such a better costume if someone had told me they were throwing that party a week ago?
Future me, remember and reflect on the joy of the trip to Western World and how it took me a mere 10 minutes to pick from one of the three only plain, average looking women's cowboy boots that the store had. Then, after that, remember all of the good times in them, but also the humiliation suffered after an unbearably large number of Daisy Duke references.
Enjoy this moment of reflection, me. And please, drag those old boots out of the back of the closet for one last romp around your life, even though you undoubtedly have absolutely no reason to wear cowboy boots, as you no longer metal work, and you have never properly learned how to wrangle cattle.
Now, dear reader and future self, I want you to remember these boots. Has anything interesting happened while wearing them? Did I wear them for only a month before realizing that I look slightly ridiculous in them? Did I lose them, break them or throw them away? Have they fallen apart? Are they sitting in the back of my closet even now, although I haven't even thought about actually wearing them in several years, at least not since last Halloween when being a "cowgirl" was a relatively easy costume idea to pull off in the short span of time since I found out that there was actually a party for me to go to, and god, I would have had such a better costume if someone had told me they were throwing that party a week ago?
Future me, remember and reflect on the joy of the trip to Western World and how it took me a mere 10 minutes to pick from one of the three only plain, average looking women's cowboy boots that the store had. Then, after that, remember all of the good times in them, but also the humiliation suffered after an unbearably large number of Daisy Duke references.
Enjoy this moment of reflection, me. And please, drag those old boots out of the back of the closet for one last romp around your life, even though you undoubtedly have absolutely no reason to wear cowboy boots, as you no longer metal work, and you have never properly learned how to wrangle cattle.
Fish time
I'm reading Douglas Adams' The Salmon of Doubt, which, besides being an incredibly amusing collection of essays, anecdotes, articles and more all have a little something profound hidden in them. Better, I find myself imagining that I, myself, know this author. It's pretty cool imagining me and Douglas Adams pallin' around together. And interestingly, though he will be remembered best for Hitchhikers Guide + sequels, that book that will really immortalize him as a person, whole, and not just his funny ideas is this book full of funny little stories about his experiences. It's kind of similar to Neil Gaiman - we got to know his genius through Sandman and various novels, but we got to know him through his book of short stories, Smoke and Mirrors. I wonder if this is a common thing?
Oh yeah,
I think I know the guy on Man vs. Wild. And by that I don't mean that I actually know him, I mean I know someone that looks a lot like him.
I forget
I keep thinking that there is something that is really important for me to remember, but I have no idea what it is. Maybe, if I write down all of the things that I need to remember to do, I'll remember that other thing, also.
Go to financial aid office on campus
paint Seans thing
-drawing studies
-color studies
wine glasses
kill kevin. (not really, he is just sitting next to me and being a jerk and then trying to feel up my boobs, and I definitely didn't approve of that breast-touching escapade)
I have so many blogs that I write in my head and intend to post on here, and then when the time comes and I'm at the computer, I just don't have the energy or something and shit.
Also: THE SOUP!!!!!!!
Go to financial aid office on campus
paint Seans thing
-drawing studies
-color studies
wine glasses
kill kevin. (not really, he is just sitting next to me and being a jerk and then trying to feel up my boobs, and I definitely didn't approve of that breast-touching escapade)
I have so many blogs that I write in my head and intend to post on here, and then when the time comes and I'm at the computer, I just don't have the energy or something and shit.
Also: THE SOUP!!!!!!!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Two things...
one: please notice the extent with which the conceptual metaphor of Neil Gaiman's Sandman series has been affecting the content of my posts;
and two: It is so easy to forget that strangers are people, too. Crunch on that sentence for a little while before I expand on it at a later date.
and two: It is so easy to forget that strangers are people, too. Crunch on that sentence for a little while before I expand on it at a later date.
Endings
I just finished re-reading the Sandman. Every time I finish a story, I am shocked at how disappointing the ending is. I don't know if the endings I read actually are disappointing, or if my dismay upon reaching the end of a book is really a reflection of how I view everything. Maybe it's like life-- the ending isn't the good part, it's everything that leads up to that. The actual living part. I think it's the last one.
It's strange... actually acknowledging the middle being the good part and all. People like to look back on what they have or have done, but the best part of wanting or doing something is the hope that comes with wanting, or the action that comes with doing. And the worst part is, even though when you're doing something and you're in the throes of that thing it's enjoyable and absorbing and fantastic and full of feeling, you still know that once it's over, it'll be a fake-thing, a memory, and you'll have to move on with your life.
There's more to this... But I can't remember it right now. Or, it's too much pressure for me to phrase it right.
It's strange... actually acknowledging the middle being the good part and all. People like to look back on what they have or have done, but the best part of wanting or doing something is the hope that comes with wanting, or the action that comes with doing. And the worst part is, even though when you're doing something and you're in the throes of that thing it's enjoyable and absorbing and fantastic and full of feeling, you still know that once it's over, it'll be a fake-thing, a memory, and you'll have to move on with your life.
There's more to this... But I can't remember it right now. Or, it's too much pressure for me to phrase it right.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
illustration
Every time I read the Sandman, I temporarily want to write a comic book and illustrate it (I just searched for schools that have a masters in Illustration, and found little; I guess a degree in drawing would be a better idea for things like that). But then, when I open up my sketchbook, I realize that I don't have any stories to tell, aside from my own life. But I don't think it would be good for me to write a story on my own life. It would end up being silly and unedited.
Viewer?; Self-Actualization
I keep writing these posts like I'm writing to someone. Who would read this? I just posted a list that I made about my Summer work hours and how much spending money I'll have after that. That's like posting a grocery list on here (which sounds like something I would do, actually). This blog is not for people other than me, because it's just too random, and too full of things that only I could actually care about.
So I guess that the people I am addressing here are my future selves, to show the journey of the ultimate goal of my life - self actualization.
I sound like such a dork; "self-actualization." I learned about that in high school sociology. It's on top of the pyramid who's base is food and shelter. By that guy. Wutsisname. Who cares.
Not that I'm saying that this blog will be here through my whole fucking life or some nonsense like that. I'm just saying that, even if I only manage to keep this up for a month or so, I'll be older and changed when reading it, and it will be interesting for me to look back and contemplate my old self.
If you think about it you are many, many different people throughout the length of your life. As you grow up and embrace events that occur to and around you, you change. And as you change, eventually you can become very different from the person you were before.
I am extremely interested in the prospect of my later self. What will I be like? What will I do? Where will my life have taken me? Will I succeed, will I fail, and will I be happy?
I hope that you, dear reader and future self, are not ashamed or embarrassed by me, the younger you. Never forget that without me, you would not exist; you would be a different person.
One last question: if this blog is only for me, why am I letting everyone in the world read it? I haven't decided that yet. But I think that, firstly, I assume that no one but me will read it, and it's kind of exciting for my private thoughts to be out in the open like this. Kind of like having sex in public, I'm sure. Anyone could see if they walked around that corner... but they didn't. But what if they do next time?
Secondly, I don't think it matters really if anyone does read this... It's the internet, right? It offers complete anonymity. I am not actually myself, here; I am a random, probably boring being, so why would anyone read this? I guess it just goes back to the sex in public metaphor. If they walked in, who would care? You'll never see them again.
Oh, sex. The perfect explanation for everything.
So I guess that the people I am addressing here are my future selves, to show the journey of the ultimate goal of my life - self actualization.
I sound like such a dork; "self-actualization." I learned about that in high school sociology. It's on top of the pyramid who's base is food and shelter. By that guy. Wutsisname. Who cares.
Not that I'm saying that this blog will be here through my whole fucking life or some nonsense like that. I'm just saying that, even if I only manage to keep this up for a month or so, I'll be older and changed when reading it, and it will be interesting for me to look back and contemplate my old self.
If you think about it you are many, many different people throughout the length of your life. As you grow up and embrace events that occur to and around you, you change. And as you change, eventually you can become very different from the person you were before.
I am extremely interested in the prospect of my later self. What will I be like? What will I do? Where will my life have taken me? Will I succeed, will I fail, and will I be happy?
I hope that you, dear reader and future self, are not ashamed or embarrassed by me, the younger you. Never forget that without me, you would not exist; you would be a different person.
One last question: if this blog is only for me, why am I letting everyone in the world read it? I haven't decided that yet. But I think that, firstly, I assume that no one but me will read it, and it's kind of exciting for my private thoughts to be out in the open like this. Kind of like having sex in public, I'm sure. Anyone could see if they walked around that corner... but they didn't. But what if they do next time?
Secondly, I don't think it matters really if anyone does read this... It's the internet, right? It offers complete anonymity. I am not actually myself, here; I am a random, probably boring being, so why would anyone read this? I guess it just goes back to the sex in public metaphor. If they walked in, who would care? You'll never see them again.
Oh, sex. The perfect explanation for everything.
Summer budget
Work after class from
m: 2:30-7 4.5
t: 4-7 3
w: 2:30-7 4.5
r: 4-7 3
f: 2:30-7 4.5
$723.8/month
(get up at 9:30? tr or get up at 11 everyday?)
first sched no work t r:
m 2:30-7
t
w 2:30-7
r
f 2:30-7
=$539/month
$1200 pell grant
after classes
=$500
+539
or
+723.8
=$1039
or $1223.9
minus expenses
rent for two months (Aug, Sep)
337.5 x 2 = $675
electric for two months $120
cellphone for two months $100
total expenses $895
Money left over from work and pell grant after classes and expenses:
$144 ($72 mo food/stuff/clothes - $18/week)
or (with working T R)
$328.9 ($164.45/mo - 41.11/week)
2 week vacation between summ b and fall-- enough money working full time to pay sept rent or part? then more/week during summer......
m: 2:30-7 4.5
t: 4-7 3
w: 2:30-7 4.5
r: 4-7 3
f: 2:30-7 4.5
$723.8/month
(get up at 9:30? tr or get up at 11 everyday?)
first sched no work t r:
m 2:30-7
t
w 2:30-7
r
f 2:30-7
=$539/month
$1200 pell grant
after classes
=$500
+539
or
+723.8
=$1039
or $1223.9
minus expenses
rent for two months (Aug, Sep)
337.5 x 2 = $675
electric for two months $120
cellphone for two months $100
total expenses $895
Money left over from work and pell grant after classes and expenses:
$144 ($72 mo food/stuff/clothes - $18/week)
or (with working T R)
$328.9 ($164.45/mo - 41.11/week)
2 week vacation between summ b and fall-- enough money working full time to pay sept rent or part? then more/week during summer......
Sunday, May 10, 2009
People I need to get letters of reference from:
Celeste Roberge
Jerry Cutler (he leaves soon)
Richard Heipp
ACK I need letters from more people than that.
I don't even need them yet, but I figure I should have them for the future...
DIZZUH! I'll just magically become BFF with a prominent Yale alumni, and I'll get THEM to write me the letter!
It's all so clear now!
Celeste Roberge
Jerry Cutler (he leaves soon)
Richard Heipp
ACK I need letters from more people than that.
I don't even need them yet, but I figure I should have them for the future...
DIZZUH! I'll just magically become BFF with a prominent Yale alumni, and I'll get THEM to write me the letter!
It's all so clear now!
GRAD SCHOOL
Ha, I spelled "school" wrong. I spelled it like "scool." It's okay though, I fixed it.
Yeah.... forever since I started this blog, eh? Well, I just came up with a pretty good reason for it's existence. It can help me remember shit! Yes, random things that my brain thinks is too unimportant to commit to long term memory will now be permantly printed in tiny digital lettering on this blog thing.
Well anyway, I have started researching grad schools! I started out by being like, "Well, Yale's supposed to be like, the best, so I guess I'll go there." I just looked at Yale's website for the first time (click) and I just want to point out something before I continue. WHY THE FUCK IS YALE'S ART WEBSITE SO EFFING HIDEOUS. They are supposed to be like, THE BEST, and their website is visually nauseating.
This is what I wanted to remember: list. It's a list of the best grad schools for art and it does (by the way) say that Yale is like, THE BEST, so I still want to go there even if they have a hideous web page.
SO... Grad school. It's kind of freaky that I need to start thinking about it. I was planning on just not going... but I think I will. I just might go do something else first, is all.
Yeah.... forever since I started this blog, eh? Well, I just came up with a pretty good reason for it's existence. It can help me remember shit! Yes, random things that my brain thinks is too unimportant to commit to long term memory will now be permantly printed in tiny digital lettering on this blog thing.
Well anyway, I have started researching grad schools! I started out by being like, "Well, Yale's supposed to be like, the best, so I guess I'll go there." I just looked at Yale's website for the first time (click) and I just want to point out something before I continue. WHY THE FUCK IS YALE'S ART WEBSITE SO EFFING HIDEOUS. They are supposed to be like, THE BEST, and their website is visually nauseating.
This is what I wanted to remember: list. It's a list of the best grad schools for art and it does (by the way) say that Yale is like, THE BEST, so I still want to go there even if they have a hideous web page.
SO... Grad school. It's kind of freaky that I need to start thinking about it. I was planning on just not going... but I think I will. I just might go do something else first, is all.
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